Quacker Posted November 10, 2003 Report Share Posted November 10, 2003 Two Cows Democrat: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.You feel guilty for being successful.You vote people into office that put a tax onyour cows, forcing you to sell one to raise moneyto pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money,buy a cow and give it to your neighbor.You feel righteous.Barbara Streisand sings for you. Socialist: You have two cows. The government takes one andgives it to your neighbor.You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow. Republican: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.So? Communist: You have two cows. The government seizes bothand provides you with milk.You wait in line for hours to get it.It is expensive and sour. Capitalism, American Style: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull,and build a herd of cows. Democracy, American Style: You have two cows. The government taxes youto the point you have to sell both to support aman in a foreign country who has only one cow,which was a gift from your government. Bureaucracy, American Style: You have two cows. The government takes themboth, shoots one, milks the other, pays youfor the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain. American Corporation: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it backto yourself and do an IPO on the second one.You force the two cows to produce the milkof four cows. You are surprised when one cowdrops dead. You spin an announcement to theanalysts stating you have downsized and arereducing expenses.Your stock goes up. French Corporation: You have two cows. You go on strike because youwant three cows.You go to lunch.Life is good. Japanese Corporation: You have two cows. You redesign them so they areone-tenth the size of an ordinarycow and produce twenty times the milk.They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.Most are at the top of their class at cow school. German Corporation: You have two cows. You engineer them so theyare all blond, drink lots of beer,give excellent quality milk, and runa hundred miles an hour.Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacationper year. Italian Corporation: You have two cows but you don't know where they are.While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.You break for lunch.Life is good. Russian Corporation: You have two cows. You have some vodka.You count them and learn you have five cows.You have some more vodka.You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.The Mafia shows up and takes over however manycows you really have. Taliban Corporation: You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature'sprivate parts. Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blewthem up while they were in the hospital. Polish Corporation: You have two bulls.Employees are regularly maimed and killedattempting to milk them. Florida Politics: You have a black cow and a brown cow.Everyone votes for the best looking one.Some of the people who like the brown one best,vote for the black one.Some people vote for both.Some people vote for neither.Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tellyou which is the best-looking one. http://www.shoptcs.com/cjp/pol/17.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonto_Icy_Tripod Posted November 10, 2003 Report Share Posted November 10, 2003 good ones Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CodeOptimist Posted November 10, 2003 Report Share Posted November 10, 2003 LOL :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Posted November 10, 2003 Report Share Posted November 10, 2003 I really liked. It's good stuff. (Two thumbs up) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKen132 Posted November 10, 2003 Report Share Posted November 10, 2003 THAT IS THE GREATEST POSTER ON EARTH!I've seen that in a couple classrooms in my school!(just thought I'd say that) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKen132 Posted November 10, 2003 Report Share Posted November 10, 2003 Wait actually, that's not it... but close..The poster in my school says: "Communism: You have two cows, the Gov't takes them, and shoots you".err... that was Stalinism. Communism was youre neighbors milk your cows or something.But it's funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElfTheHunter Posted November 10, 2003 Report Share Posted November 10, 2003 You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.ROTFL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quacker Posted November 11, 2003 Author Report Share Posted November 11, 2003 Haha, glad you guys like it. I stumbled upon it when i was googling for something, i forget what... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cougar Posted November 11, 2003 Report Share Posted November 11, 2003 lol, great post! I love the Japanese one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
av_nefardec Posted November 11, 2003 Report Share Posted November 11, 2003 Oh, I've seen this before - very, very classic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wijitmaker Posted November 11, 2003 Report Share Posted November 11, 2003 I thought this was going to be a post about html code http://www.twocows.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkAngelBGE Posted November 11, 2003 Report Share Posted November 11, 2003 Now everybody up Jordan's reputation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quacker Posted November 11, 2003 Author Report Share Posted November 11, 2003 Gee, thanks Make up for *ahem* whoever that was... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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