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CELEBRITY DEATH MATCH #3


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HAN SOLO thunders into the stadium in the Millennium Falcon. The crowd goes wild. Escorted by his trusty sidekick, CHEWBACCA, he decends the ramp to the squared circle.

"Well, Chewie, this looks like a good hiding spot from Jabba the Hut and those bounty hunters," says Han.

Chewbacca replies, "Ung Ung Argh." (Wookie:English translation: Why do you keep talking to me in English, when I have no clue what you're saying? By the way, I just took a dump on the Princess Leia picture taped to the ceiling over your bunk. Don't ask me how I managed that, but I did. That $%@$# annoys the %$@#$ out of me. Oh, and you don't know this yet, but she's Luke's sister. It's sooooo obvious. I could tell way back on the Death Star. And I thought you shot Greedo first. Coulda swore... Oh well.")

Just then, into the stadium strolls INDIANA JONES, complete with bullwhip and fedora hat. By his side is his trusty sidekick, SHORT ROUND.

"You better watch your back Doctor Jones. Short Round says his Pinchers of Peril are broken," says Short Round, as usual: talking about himself in thrid person. (English:Wookie translation: Argh Ung Ugh.)

"That's alright Short Round," says Indy, "Fortune and Glory, kid. Fortune and Glory."

Han motions to Short Round, "Hey kid! Where did you dig up this old fossil?"

"Isn't that my line?" chimes in Indy.

"Hey buddy! You call him Doctor Jones!" replies Short Round to Han's taunt.

"My professional name," says Indy, grinning at the camera.

"Ugh Ung Ung!" Says Chewie.

And the HEAT is on!

Who will win this match between two icons of the silver screen. Who has the biggest EGO?!

Two men enter. One man leaves.

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