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Quacker

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  5. Depression and Hope

    in Introductions & Off-Topic Discussion

    Posted

    So there is a poetry thread...but this is related more to this topic.

    I've Ever Loved Thee

    A relationship, its what you said

    What you wanted, but now its dead

    Effort I tried, but it was not returned

    It takes two, for those gears to have turned

    It was meant to be, you and me

    We were in love togther, and now I see

    My love was not returned, yet on I say

    How I long for you, I love you today

    Puppy love, what you asked for

    I'd give it thee, and so much more

    Hard to get, that just smashed

    My hopes, and dreams were dashed

    What do you want, of me I ask?

    Just tell me, I'd do the task

    What from me, I dare not say

    But from my heart, I will pay

    So I do slip, and make mistake

    Yes, I do fail, and instigate

    I'm not perfect, as I said

    Yet my love for you is not dead

    I can't do this, no, not alone

    I need another, another to bear the groan

    I need you, yes you to hold

    What about you, has it grown old?

    Are you tired of me, wanting more?

    Are you regretting me, just a bore?

    Are you forgetting me, moving on?

    Are you even knowing me, or am I gone?

    My love lives on, in silence still

    Wondering if, you'll love me till

    I can do it right, show you how

    I've ever loved thee, more than now

  14. Depression and Hope

    in Introductions & Off-Topic Discussion

    Posted

    Eh, i'd have to work sunday, i was scheduled against my will lol.

    I was irresponsible and didn't have self-control with my cell, so now I reap the rewards...er, consequences.

    Jillian and I are working things out as "just friends", but its a lot more awkward and different. Its so hard seeing her and not being able to wrap my arms around her.

  15. Depression and Hope

    in Introductions & Off-Topic Discussion

    Posted

    Stole this from my xanga (so its not really stealing). I'm really just feeling "blah" lately...like this whole week.

    Just friends. It's something hard to soak up after getting so close. God's will reigns best, now just to see what's in store.

    Mmm also found out today that my cell phone bill is $400. That blows.

    And I get to go into work at noon today instead of 4. And I'm working sunday

    So yeah...little things add up and drive me to tears. Pray for me.

    Edit -

    Ok so i posted this before, but i needs to be posted again.

    Untitled

    Discouraged, dismayed

    Distressed and afraid

    Disallusioned, distracted

    All emotions have impacted

    Disoriented, misplaced

    These problems I've faced

    Determined, adament

    You knew what I meant

    Hopeful, eager

    Love's so meager

    Trusting, unknowing

    The future isn't showing

    God You still know

    The seed I've yet to sow

    Book Excerpt

    in Hall of Intellectuals

    Posted

    I'm writing a book, slowly but surely. When I get an excerpt that I want to post here, i will.

    The book is more over insights and things i learn/observe.

    Welcome. This is the story of my life. Well, not exactly my life such as an autobiography, but more like little glimpses of events in my life that I’d like to tell you. First off, there are many first-off’s that writers would love to say in such books as this, but they always have to pick the first off that suits them best in their story. Second off, I’m definitely not a writer by trade, nor a storyteller; thus the turnout of this book will be a story unto itself. Third off, since I’m a far cry from a great eloquent storyteller, I will probably break my mom’s and my English teacher’s hearts due from lack of great grammar, improper uses of tenses, and frequent use of words such as thus. Thus, my story has more of a story feel, not a book feel, or so I hope. Be prepared to meet several analogies uses such as football, movies, and music lyrics.

    Now, where to start? As Bilbo Baggins stated, “At the very beginning, of course!” There’s only one problem with this, I didn’t have a whole lot of insights on life as an infant. And as I have previously mentioned, I won’t be telling the story of my whole stay on this earth, but rather special events that stand out in the realm of time we call life. For a little background on myself, I will however short tell my early childhood.

    Dropping everything that will be said in the “About the Author” part of this book, I did happen to have events other than “Born on July 27th.” For several years, I was a missionary kid. No, my family was never in the deepest, darkest jungles of South America or the civil war-torn savannas of Africa. We were missionaries to the hardened, untamed concrete jungles of northwest metro Atlanta. Actually, we never became real missionaries. When we were about 70% of our monetary support, God had other plans for us, and my dad took up his previously owned business of home remodeling. In retrospect, I can say that deputation was a rewarding experience; it brought the family together for the best, despite some spikes of hardship and confusion.

    Another moment in my earlier days that stands out was a stark disobedience to my mom. I was in the living room playing with a tennis ball, kicking/throwing it around, when mom took notice and promptly told me, “Jordan, stop throwing things in the living room. You’ll break something.” Of course, like the obedient child I was at the time, I said “yes ma’am” and went diligently back to my studies. If only it were so. In the reality of things, I went back to the living room. “Hey Jason, you be the goalie, and I’ll try to score.” Now, in our house at that time, there was one heirloom that had immense sentimental value. We owned a mantle clock, one that had been my dad’s grandmother’s grandmothers. It had an ornate glasswork on the front to shield the pendulums from the elements, be they dust, or flying tennis balls. As you have surmised, I (with my incredibly talent for inaccurate kicks) kicked the ball straight through that fancy, expensive glasswork. I can also remember the spanking and that this was only time that I was sentenced to three Saturdays of hard labor (read: yard work) without pay – pay that is so valuable to a 3rd grader. Lesson learned; I had fewer moments of such severe disobedience.

    What other points of my earlier time stand out? There was my first incident with the other human specimen type we guys like to call girls. I had been in a home school band for a few years. In this orchestra, there were four levels, beginner, intermediate, advanced, and elite. Each time a student completed a year in band, he advanced to the next level. When I was supposed to stay in advanced for the second semester of band, I attempted to, and successfully attained elite band. I went for the reason of being with my best friend, Nathan, who had been in elite for a couple of years already. However, before I even knew I had made the tryouts for elite, Nathan told me, “Man, you stink! You get to sit next to Melissa!” Enter Melissa. She was the hottest girl in band at that time, and she happened to be the fourth trumpeter (I had made fifth in the tryouts). Thus, life was good for a while. After a couple of weeks, I took a bold move (for myself) and asked her for her email – a move that she responded too and gave me the envy a quite a few guys in the band. We became good email friends and would talk lots back and forth via the net and in real life. During this time I had been praying to God that he would show me what was His will in the situation, and what would come of it. In early December of 2003, my prayer was answered in an instant messenger chat with Nathan. He told me that Melissa was Mormon. Now, to you as a reader, this may not mean a whole lot, you might even be Mormon yourself (if so, don’t put down this book, you will find something in here useful). But to me, it meant someone with a totally different outlook on the spiritual side of life, an outlook I wholeheartedly disagreed with. At the time Nathan told me this, the feelings-less 16-year-old I was broke down into tears. Thankfully God kept everyone in my family out of the room so I could have a little private time with Nathan over IM. I excused myself from the conversation for a moment and asked God to show me if there was a chance of it still working out, and roamed the house. I meandered into the sunroom where I picked up a book on finding “Mr. Right” that my sister had been reading. Flipping to the bookmark, a title clearly popped out at me: “Don’t be unequally yoked.” Another prayer was answered, and my friendship with Melissa dropped off. I now had a personal proof that God really does answer prayer (an event not many teenagers experience).

    These are the most memorable of my earlier experiences. The rest of this book will be covering insights and thoughts of a high school senior through college. I hope you will find it a useful blessing if you are in school yourself, a way to look to the future if you are not in high school yet, or possibly a way to recollect the past if you have already been through experiences such as mine.

    Book Excerpt

    in Hall of Intellectuals

    Posted

    I'm writing a book, slowly but surely. When I get an excerpt that I want to post here, i will.

    The book is more over insights and things i learn/observe.

    Camaraderie of Strangers

    It’s an odd phenomenon. Happening mostly at Christmas time (but not limited to then), complete strangers will take up conversations on random topics, whether it is about the long lines themselves, the gifts, or quite possibly the wonderful deal they’re getting on that jacket. Once I was in a Target strolling the aisles, when I noticed one man interested in headphones, but not really seeming to make a decision. I offered my opinion on a pair of headphones that I myself owned, and gave the little knowledge I had on wireless headphones. He was thankful and asked a few questions. Occasionally, my mom will take up a random conversation with a lady that is standing in the line ahead of her.

    What is it that can make people randomly talk with one another? I was at the DMV office one time with a 3-hour wait for my learner’s permit. Everyone else that was standing outside in the cold of April was in the same predicament as me: long wait at the glorified shack of the Canton Department of Motor Vehicle office. We’re all in the same boat when it comes to a long wait at Kohl’s or the DMV. We all appreciate the advice of others when we’re ignorant on a subject. Take time to help a stranger or strike up a conversation about that preppy shirt that the guy in front of you is about to purchase.

    Poetry

    in Hall of Intellectuals

    Posted

    I've got a couple more poems, less of a Christian feel so you should all be able to appreciate them :)

    I Just

    I Just don't know

    Why it feels like so

    I just can't tell

    Why i'm under this spell

    I just don't see

    Why you wanna be with me

    I just can't feel

    When its my heart you steal

    I just can't think

    When emotions are at the brink

    I just can't ponder

    When my heart begins to wander

    I just don't know

    Why I've been used so

    I just can't see

    Why you needed me

    I just can't think

    When all begins to sink

    I just don't know

    Why I didn't say no

    When Its All Gone

    Why is love so hateable

    Sticking you with girls undateable

    Why does love leave regret

    Leaving feelings you didn't bet

    Why does love leave so much pain

    Emotions lost and an experience gain

    Why does love hurt so much

    Your heart it reaches to touch

    Why is it so bad

    Why does it make me so mad

    Why is it so desireable

    Yes, this is undeniable

    We were meant to be

    For a time, to me

    We were good together

    But not with one another

    Why can't I get

    Why do i wanna forget

    Why do i want to move on

    When its all gone

  23. Your significant other

    in Introductions & Off-Topic Discussion

    Posted

    Well i've had some awesome emotional rollercoasters in my relationship lately. I only call them awesome because you'll be in the valley of despair...then work things out and you're back on the mountains. No pain, no gain, as they say. If you can work through the pain and not give up, it only makes you stronger. I feel stronger, bettered by the events I've been through. Went to see Star Wars 3 with Jillian last night, that was so awesome getting to see and hold her again. Going to her house tonite, we're gonna watch The Notebook and then go to a b-day party.

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