English help, please proofread

[DarkAngelBGE]

Hey guys, could you give me some suggestions regarding this characterisation? Is the choice of words good or can I use more sophisticated words somewhere?

Thanks.

Characterisation – Ralph Mumsford

Ralph Mumsford, whose nickname is Bibs, is mainly directly characterised by a third person narrator. We learn that he has never killed a man in his life -only a few rabbits as a boy for supper. Bibs does not suffer from guilt or any philosophical questions and never has.

He is a not so particularly intelligent black man who He earned the nickname of “Bibs” due to him having worn a pair of old bib overalls on his first day at the school he had come to. He is six feet tall and used his size to tower over the principal in the situation where he wants to kill him.

However, Bibs is also indirectly characterised. The way he flips out just because all school employees and students call him Bibs is quite remarkable and makes him look not very (adjective here?).

[Acumen]

Here's another way of looking at it ...

Characterisation – Ralph Mumsford

Ralph Mumsford is a black man and not particularly intelligent. He wore a pair of old bib overalls on his first day at school, earning him the nickname of “Bibs”.

We learn that he has never killed a man in his life - only a few rabbits as a boy for supper. Bibs does not and never has suffered from guilt or any philosophical dilemmas.

He is six feet tall and exploits his size to tower over the principal in a situation where Ralph wants to kill him.

He is mainly directly characterised by a third person narrator. However, Bibs is also indirectly characterised; the way he flips out just because all school employees and students call him Bibs is quite remarkable and makes him look rather absurd.

[DarkAngelBGE]

Thanks, Stuart.

[DarkAngelBGE]

Another one please:

Henry Higgins is one of the protagonists in the novel „Pygmalion“, which was written by George Bernard Shaw.

Henry Higgins is a 40 – 50 years old professor of phonetics living in London. As he belongs to the upper class his language is quite sophisticated, especially his choice of words. He is called as a bloomy buzy budy and he is well-educated..

In the novel he is a flat character, because there is no development concerning him in the first two acts. Higgins lives only for his work and he did not take on the bet out of pity for a poor girl to try and improve her, but to show what he could do.

He is a very emotional and vivacious person with generally noisy behaviour. The relationship to the outer characters is very different. Pickering is a kind of colleague for him and they respect each other. Mrs Pearce is his housekeeper and she takes care of his behaviour and sometimes she provides him some advice. Eliza, one of his students, is not very much liked by him, so we see that he has different relationships to different characters. He does not treat all of them similarly.

[Mythos_Ruler]

Henry Higgins is one of the protagonists in the novel "Pygmalion“, which was written by George Bernard Shaw. He is a professor of phonetics around 40 or 50 years old living in London. He belongs to the upper class, making his language quite sophisticated, especially his choice of words.

He is a very emotional and vivacious person with generally noisy behaviour. The relationship to the outer characters is very different. Pickering is a kind of colleague for him and they respect each other. Mrs Pearce is his housekeeper and she takes care of his behaviour and sometimes she provides him some advice. Eliza, one of his students, doesn't like him very much, so we see that he has different relationships to different characters. He does not treat all of them similarly. He is a flat character, because there is no development concerning him in the first two acts. Higgins lives only for his work and he did not take on a bet out of pity for a poor girl to try and improve her, but to show what he could do.

[Red_08]

Michael, on the second line you should probably say "Henry is a professor of phonetics around 40 or 50 years..." instead of "He is a professor" as it will make some readers think you mean George Bernard Shaw is a professor of phonetics instead of the person in the novel.

The rest looks good Michael.