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Khazun

WFG Retired
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Posts posted by Khazun

  1. ok-more funnies (incase u didnt realize-they are also in this topic-i posted one in the opening post)

    Aragorns Secret Journal:

    The Very Secret Diary of Aragorn, son of Arathorn

    Day One:

    Ringwraiths killed: 4. V. good.

    Met up with Hobbits. Walked forty miles. Skinned a squirrel and ate it.

    Still not King.

    Day Four:

    Stuck on mountain with Hobbits. Boromir really annoying.

    Not King yet.

    Day Six:

    Orcs killed: none. Disappointing.

    Stubble update: I look rugged and manly. Yes!

    Keep wanting to drop-kick Gimli. Holding myself back.

    Still not King.

    Day Ten:

    Sorry no entries lately. V. dark in Mines of Moria. Big Baelrog.

    Not King today either.

    Day Eleven:

    Orcs killed: 7. V. good. Stubble update: Looking mangy.

    Legolas may be hotter than me.

    I wonder if he would like me if I was King?

    Day 28:

    Beginning to find Frodo disturbingly attractive. Have a feeling if I make a move, Sam would kill me. Also, hairy feet kind of a turn-off.

    Still not King.

    Day 30:

    In Lothlorien. Think Galadriel was hitting on me. Saucy wench.

    Nice chat with Boromir. He?s not so bad.

    Took a shower. Yay!

    But still not King.

    Day 32:

    Orcs killed: none. Stubble update: subtly hairy.

    Legolas told me that a shadow and a threat had been growing in his mind.

    I think Legolas might be kinda gay.

    Nope, not King.

    Day 33:

    Orcs killed: Countless thousands. V. good.

    Boromir killed by Orcs. Bummer. Though he died bravely in my arms, am now quite sure that he was very definitely gay.

    Not so sure about Gimli either.

    RIP Boromir.

    Still not King, but at least Boromir seemed to think I was. Might however have been blood loss.

    Day 34:

    Frodo went to Mordor. Said he was going alone, but took Sam with him. Why?

    My God, is everyone in this movie gay but me?

    Not so sure about me either.

    Still not King, goddammit

    Find more junky funny stuff like this @ http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art800.asp

  2. ok, several things.

    a)I launched a website design company

    b)Due to legal issues i had to re-name Arcon designs (my game team)

    c)State Championship Tennis

    d)Canada Holiday

    e)Something that im always busy with...women

    (Just a compilation of everything coming at once with the same due date, not to mention the weekly commitments I already have that I cant drop which take 90% of my time).

    Btw, 'm darn TLA staff so can you pleaase add me to staff ont he forums? Askd months ago-still no result.

  3. I know this one. I know it. Really. Really really really. Im sure I do. Infact, im positive. No, im 98% certain. No, make that 99%. What the hell, make it 100%. I am almost absolutely positive. I am postivie this is it. I am absolutely positive, very absoulutely positive, really positive,really really possitive. I am so sure, so positive, real positive, really positive, really really positive and almost certain, well certain, very certain, really certain, really really certain and due to my expert calculations on probability in which I believe that I am around 100% right and I am very sure that its a.........................................duck :)

    (hehe)

  4. Well, if yas dont like em ill do somethign that I cant mention while minors are around, me and hawky liked em-lol :)

    Post all Tolkien Jokes/Funny Stories/Riddles in here-lets have some fun. Try to keep if funny though.

    Night Hawk says:

    btw make sure you say some thing about no fithy language etc.

    So Nighthawk said in his normal full-of-typo way, dont swear ;)

    Well-here's my first one.

    PRETEND THERE'S A LINE HERE - PRETEND THERE'S A LINE HERE

    Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a barfly. They taker her to ta local motel; the first hobbit goes into the motel room while the other waits outside. Once the door closes, the hobbit on the outside hears starnge noises through the door, "I can't do it, I can't do it, I CAN'T DO IT!"

    In the morning, the second hobbit askes the first, "How did it go?" The first one answers. "It was embarrassing. I simply couldn''t do it."

    The second hobbit shook his head. "Manhood problems, eh?"

    "No. I couldnt get on the bed!"

  5. Well, I saw the movie a while a go (lucky my mate got there 5 hours early (poor bugger) so he was at the front of the queue, so I got a god seat.) I was especially known in the cinema for askign everybody if Gandalf went to Hogwarts :)

    Anyway, I had read these tips from a site, and done most of them in the cinema. All of those that have not seen the movie should give this a go ;)

    1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, ''Wait... where the bloody hell is Harry Potter?''

    2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: ''YOU SHALL NOT PASS!''

    3. Play a drinking game where you have to take a drink every time someone says: ''The Ring.''

    4. Ask everyone around you if they think Gandalf went to Hogwarts.

    5. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with ''Mr. Anderson.'' (Elrond is Hugo Weaving, the Aussie (w00t-go Aus) that played Agent Smith in the Matrix)

    6. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, ''And I did it.... MY way...!''

    7. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.

    8. Dress up as old ladies and reenact ''The Battle of Helms Deep'' Monty Python style.

    9. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout ''RUN FOREST, RUN!''

    10. Start an Orc sing-a-long.

    11. Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob scene.

    12. Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California.

    13. After the movie, say ''Lucas could have done it better.''

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