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How to balance life?


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I was lucky to find a job last year working 20h a week from home.

I'm spoiled now so I wouldn't take any presential work even if they'd pay me millions, nor do I want to waste more than 20h/w of my life.

There are things I like to do more important than money. I used to waste up to 6h a day commuting + full time = no fun = no life.

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Work on your boundaries.

Wisdom used to be important (known forever: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7hdUorDU-U).

Today, people's focus is outward / on productivity caught in a downward spiral instead of inner freedom.

The resulting stress often makes people sick and can be buffered by exercise, antioxidants and restful sleep.

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1 hour ago, a 0ad player said:

boundaries

  

2 hours ago, Player of 0AD said:

balanceing

 

Assuming as a worker you are reasonable worker who takes on a reasonable workload and gets it complete on time, then these items may be a problem.  It's actually hard for an employer to find reasonable and responsible workers as such workers are in high demand. 

As such, as a reasonable worker the best thing you can do is set boundaries and expectations to your employer.  If your employer doesn't meet expectations change jobs (e.g., boundaries with work/family time creep for balanced life).  It's a 2-way street not a 1-way.  It's also a reason why you need to be financially responsible.  If you aren't, then you are dependent on your employer's whims.

Boundaries + Life Balance are important.

Edited by Dizaka
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Hey @josuebrown,

I recommend finding a suitable model for areas/aspects of life, trying to find out where your deficits are, where your curiosity is and what you are yearning for in your inmost being. If you find yourself too much distracted or absorbed by the daily duties, first create space, time and silence for reflection/contemplation, this is where clear thoughts get the chance to thrive. If you do not know how, take a first little step. Find someone who can help you, read, ask, search... Maybe you just need smaller adjustments, maybe bigger ones including a complete life change (in this case I recommend taking a break for several months if possible, e.g. for travelling, reading, socializing).

classic model example: body, mind, soul
I would divide this further, e.g.

  • body: health, nutrition, intimacy, exercise
    I recommend lots of low intensity integrated into daily life like walking, cycling, hiking, ... with short bursts of high/max intensity, instead of running 30/45/60 min the same pace (this is not what our ancestors did). I further recommend bodyweight exercises instead of insulated weight lifting. Nutrition: less sugar, less "bad fat" (like in fast food), less processed food, less meat, more vegetables, more "good fat" (omega 3), more seeds/nuts and whole grain.
  • mind: reading, discussing, discovering interesting theories/ideas
  • soul: being in nature, listening to music, reading, being creative (arts, music, writing, ...), if you're introvert (= gaining energy alone) focus more on meditation/contemplation/prayer, if you're extrovert (= gaining energy in community) focus more on shared activities

It can feel quite overwhelming having a huge list, thats why I try to find activities that encompass all fields. E.g. I like hiking and mountaineering. This requires my body (can be tuned from low to insane intensity), my mind (planning routes analyzing weather, terrain, overnight stay possiblities, ...; analyzing/discovering/buying/replacing equipment) and my soul (I can contemplate, I feel temporarily displaced to another world leaving everything else in the valley, when I am solo walking/climbing on an arête, I can get into complete flow mode, ...)

another, more specific model example: job, family/partnership, health, social contacts, individuality/hobbies, belief/spirituality
This model has been developed by Dr. med. Mirriam Prieß, a German physician, psychotherapist, business consultant, coach and author specialized in the field of burnout.
Her experience and thesis is that burnout (and related issues like depression) is not primarily caused by too much workload, but by defunct relationships, both outwards to other people (either non existent or conflicts) and inwards (not listening to yourself, no connection to your "inner voice"). Basically not doing/living what you are intrinsically supposed/designed to do.

What I find especially helpful: Try to determine where you have gotten into "flow" mode, this sweet spot between boredom and overextension where you forgot everything else around you including space and time. Try to remember what you wished/dreamed when you where a still a kid. This helps to circumvent blockades/restrictions our "adult" mind imposes on us (as kids we were more directly expressing what we wanted without analyzing external circumstances that much).

I hope I could provide some inspiration... :) Good luck!

 

EDIT: Do not forget to love (and forgive!) yourself. You cannot change the past, but you can influence which person you'll be in the future. And "begin with the end in mind" (one of the "7 habits of highly effective people" by Stephen Covey)...

Edited by Palaxin
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  • 2 weeks later...
On 18/11/2021 at 10:21 PM, sarcoma said:

I was lucky to find a job last year working 20h a week from home.

I'm spoiled now so I wouldn't take any presential work even if they'd pay me millions, nor do I want to waste more than 20h/w of my life.

There are things I like to do more important than money. I used to waste up to 6h a day commuting + full time = no fun = no life.

how to get a 20h a week job?

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