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CELEBRITY DEATH MATCH #1


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"We don't need another hero" by Tina Turner blares over the loud speakers...

Mad Max rumbles into the stadium in his ethanol fueled, 1980s chop shopped, post-apocalyptic dune buggy.

John McClane, freshly retired from "the force," limps into the venue with no shirt and his feet bandaged and bleeding.

"I'll eat a whole can of rotten dog food before I let you out of this ring alive, mate!" says Max.

"Oh yeah?" replies McClane in his best Roy Rogers accent, "Yippy kai yay mother%$@#$!"

And the death match is on!

This is Barter Town - two go in, one comes out!

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Hmm, but Bruce was in click-flick supreme The Story of Us. And Disney's The Kid. And he was the voice of one of the Rugrats in the film. I thought Mel's only (recent) chick-flick was What Women Want? I wouldn't consider We Were Soldiers, The Patriot or Payback to be chick flicks. Maybe I've missed some.

Still go with Bruce though. Die Hard alone makes the decision easy.

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  • 9 months later...
  • 3 weeks later...

McClane beat Alan Rickman with assorted henchmen in 'Die Hard' singly handedly, yet it took the combined power of Kevin Costner, Christian Slater, Morgan Freeman and the merry men to do so in 'Robin Hood: Prince of Theives'

Slater beat Travolta in 'Broken Arrow'. Morgan Freeman played God in 'Bruce Almighty'.

Conclusion: John McClane is more powerful than God and John Travolta combined.

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