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The Comedy Thread

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Hey if you have any jokes, funny stories, or anything humorous, post it here!

Our forums need a good place for laughs. :P

To start us off...

I found once a list of 144 ways to be annoying, many of them humorous. Here are some excerpts!

-Recite the first 100 digits of pi. In binary. Out loud. In public.

-Invent your own computer lingo and see if people play along for the sake of not looking ignorant. (Use "CD-RAM", "Calibration Factor", or "Zapping" things. Also make up files like "MEM.EXE" or "EXEC.SYS".

-Leave the following on someone's voice mail: "Sir, we're not sure if you wanted us to do it, you know, after what happened. But, we went ahead and did it anyway because we knew how important it was to you. If you don't agree with how we did it, we can probably fix it, although it might cost you extra. We knew this was urgent to you, so call us back immediately, thanks bye."

-Call a house at random and remember the phone number. Ask for Gary. When they tell you that there's no Gary there, call a little while later (from a half-hour later to a day later). Do this at intervals about four times. Finally when they're mad and confused, call and say, "this is Gary, are there any messages for me?"

-Put signs in people's yards that say "For Sale by owner: Will take first offer"

-Whenever someone else is reading a book and they put it down, move the bookmark ahead 3 pages.

Alright, that's enough for now. Enjoy, and share! :P;)

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Invent your own computer lingo and see if people play along for the sake of not looking ignorant. (Use "CD-RAM", "Calibration Factor", or "Zapping" things. Also make up files like "MEM.EXE" or "EXEC.SYS".

It works... :P Had almost my whole school 'learning' things from me until someone who knew the same or more about computers challenge me, I wasn't able to keep a straight face.

I'll think of some.

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I recently read a whole web page entitled, "1001 Things to do with Liquid Nitrogen". :D LOL

Among them was a story of a chemistry student who put liquid nitrogen in a soda bottle (the large kind, 1 liter maybe? :P can't remember). This was in the school's lab :P Anyway, the bottle started expanding, because the nitrogen started turning into a gas. He thought it would explode so he put it in the school bathroom, in the sink.

It did explode, and nearly/fully ripped apart the sink!! Then the lab professor gets a call from the police saying that one of his students blew up the lab with nitroglycerin.. the police were misinformed :P But, it gave the professor quite a scare!

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Last year when I went on my Freshman retreat to Big Bear, I ate Chinese chicken for dinner. In the middle of the night, I had to throw up but didn't make it and instead, blocked the way into the bathroom. Everyone in my cabin woke up and they dragged my history teacher over to where I threw up. It's became a favorite story for that teacher. He even told my parents whom I didn't tell at all. :P

Wait, I told too much..........

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What, does nothing funny ever happen to anyone?? Come on. All right, I'll post some more funny ways to be annoying ;)!

-Order a side of pork rinds with your Filet Mignon.

-When someone is talking very excitedly at a restaurant, pick up their plate, hand it to them, and nod gravely. Then just wait until they notice why they are holding their plate.

-Make your reservations as "wild" so when your table is ready, the person will say "party wild of 4" or whatever the number. BTW My Godmother and her husband do this! It's funny. :P

-Tell someone that’s wearing slip-ons or Velcro shoes that his or her shoelaces are untied.

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When you are walking throught the locker halls of your school and there are people all around you and out of no where you suddenly stop and the people behind you walk into you. Then you turn around and say to them, "What are you doing? Why are you walking into me?" It is good stuff because it sure does anoy people. ;)

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Imagine this scenario, it'd be a funny one:

Academy Awards, five actresses are running for Best Actress. Let's say Julia Roberts and Hale Berry (just thinking of names). The presenter opens the note and says "And the winner is... Julia Roberts". The music starts, the camera focuses on Roberts and as she gets up to the steps the presenter says "Just kidding, it really is Hale Berry".

I think that would make highlights of the show ;)

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Ah well, Halle's hotter than Julia, she'd get my vote :) But that'd be hilarious to see.

Yeah, along the lines of that "crap in a can", you can buy fake dog turds, even some that are key hiders :)

Oh man, i was talking with some of my friends about black names, here's some that were mentioned:

Abcde (pronounced ab seh dee)

Sh*thead (pronounced shih theed)

Orangejellow (pronounced or RAN jeh low)

Lemonjellow (pronounced leh MAN jeh low, brother to above)

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