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Hi everyone,

In  days I have talked with @Itms about a a real in-game encyclopedia for 0 A.D. 

In particular I worked to recreate an heroes information sheet regarding Pericles ( which in alpha 21 has only information about the gameplay)

In this draft I have tryed to put together both historical and gameplay information

 

Periklēs (c. 495 – 429 BC) 

Pericles was one of the most influential Greek statesman and predominant leader of Athenian golden age.

Appeared in the political scene as the most active member during the trail against the general Cimon (463 B.C.), Pericles political activity lasted for
about forty years during which he held the strategia for at least fifteen consecutive years.
While under Pericles political predominance the Delian League (constituent base of Athenian Empire) reaches its zenith, however, the statesman is 
especially remembered for his building program which aim to transform Athens into the cultural capital of the Hellenic world.
Pericles program of public works was in a first phase focused on defensive building with the construction of the Long Wall between Athens and the two
demos of Piraeus and Phalerum
Hero Aura: When garrisoned in a structure, it galvanizes its defenders, + 2 garrison raged unit
To carry out urban planning works in Athens, Pericles summon artisans and artists from the cities of the Delian League. Monuments as the Propilei,
the Odeîon and Telesterion are testimonies of the Pericles commitment in the public sector in order to affirm the Athenian supremacy.
Builder Aura: Building construct 15% faster within his vision
Anyhow, the major contribution gives to Athens was the commitments of temples as that of Athena Nike and the continuation of works on the Parthenon 
(completed c. 432 B.C) monuments symbol of the Acropolis restructuring program promoted by Pericles
Acropolis Aura: Temples are 50 stones chipper during his lifetime
Pericles political parable is that of a democratic leader able to control the dêmos but who over time he had to face a block of opposition that 
convinced the public opinion to condemn Pericles circle of collaborators (Phidias the sculptor appointed by Pericles to decorate the Parthenon 
will die in jail before his sentence).
Though the opposition struck hard Pericles, only in 430 B.C. there was a real conflict with the dêmos who exhausted from the sacrifices of the war remove 
the statesman from the office of strategós. Even though he was re-elected already the following year, however, the plague which spread in Athens during 
429 B.C. hit the statesman who would die in October of the same year.
 
With the death of Pericles ending the so called the Golden Age of Athens which in the following years will face a gruelling clash against Sparta that will
lead to the disintegration of the Athenian Empire.

 

 

 

 

All advices, suggestions and corrections are welcome! :)

 

 

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Altogether I found your article well informed yet still concise, which is a helpful thing for history articles for games.  Two particular points I would make are that first, there are some grammatical errors that could be easily fixed with a quick reread of the article; second, the final sentence does not exactly characterise what happened with Pericles' death.  If I were to offer an alternative, here is my take on it:

With the death of Pericles, came the death Athenian Hegemony over Greece.  Instead of pursuing his shrewd strategy of controlling the seas while depending her walls, Athens, at the urgings of demagogues, set out on a disastrous campaign into Sicily that led to her eventual defeat by Sparta.

As a last simple pointer, if tense could be kept consistent, it would make the article flow better.

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9 minutes ago, Thorfinn the Shallow Minded said:

Altogether I found your article well informed yet still concise, which is a helpful thing for history articles for games.  Two particular points I would make are that first, there are some grammatical errors that could be easily fixed with a quick reread of the article; second, the final sentence does not exactly characterise what happened with Pericles' death.  If I were to offer an alternative, here is my take on it:

With the death of Pericles, came the death Athenian Hegemony over Greece.  Instead of pursuing his shrewd strategy of controlling the seas while depending her walls, Athens, at the urgings of demagogues, set out on a disastrous campaign into Sicily that led to her eventual defeat by Sparta.

As a last simple pointer, if tense could be kept consistent, it would make the article flow better.

Can be nice if you can contribute with this, you are here the best as  expert and you can redact ( write) best.

and your contribution can be more greatful when the  project start to work with scenarios and Campaing.

 

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1 hour ago, wowgetoffyourcellphone said:

Why rewrite stuff that can be pulled from existing files? 

We can add some stuff and... I'm sure you like AoM and you will like that Encyclopedia system.

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On 15/07/2017 at 1:59 AM, wowgetoffyourcellphone said:

Why rewrite stuff that can be pulled from existing files?

Well there is no historical information about Pericles in the game files right now. Anyhow the aim is starting work on this front again, not rewriting everything. It doesn't hurt to have a fresh perspective on the historical information which could be so much better!

Thanks for the constructive input @Thorfinn the Shallow Minded (y)

We're looking forward to the next iteration @Fahrern! As a side note, I think you shouldn't use the formatting you are using, it's not adapted to reading on the forums.

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On 14/7/2017 at 8:05 PM, Thorfinn the Shallow Minded said:

With the death of Pericles, came the death Athenian Hegemony over Greece.  Instead of pursuing his shrewd strategy of controlling the seas while depending her walls, Athens, at the urgings of demagogues, set out on a disastrous campaign into Sicily that led to her eventual defeat by Sparta.

 

@Thorfinn the Shallow MindedI agree with you! thanks to this conclusion the article flows  better than before :)

@Itms I will surely change the formatting used to write :D

 

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Periklēs (c. 495 – 429 BC) 
Pericles was one of the most influential Greek statesman and predominant leader of golden age of Athens
Appeared in the political scene as the most active member during the trail against the general Cimon (463 B.C.), Pericles political activity lasted for
about forty years during which he held the strategia for at least fifteen consecutive years.
While under Pericles political predominance the Delian League (constituent base of Athenian Empire) reached its zenith, however, the statesman is 
especially remembered for his building program which aimed to transform Athens into the cultural capital of the Hellenic world.
Pericles program of public works was in a first phase focused on defensive building with the construction of the Long Wall between Athens and the two
demos of Piraeus and Phalerum

  • Hero Aura: When garrisoned in a structure, it galvanizes its defenders, + 2 garrison raged unit

To carry on urban planning works in Athens, Pericles summoned artisans and artists from the cities of the Delian League. Monuments as the Propilei,
the Odeîon and Telesterion are testimonies of the Pericles commitment in the public sector aimed to affirming the Athenian supremacy.

  • Builder Aura: Building construct 15% faster within his vision

Anyhow, the major contribution gived to Athens was the commission of temples as that of Athena Nike and the continuation of works on the Parthenon 

  • Acropolis Aura: Temples are 50 stones chipper during his lifetime

Pericles political parable was  that of a democratic leader able to control the dêmos but who, over time, had to face a block of opposition that 
convinced the public opinion to condemn Pericles circle of collaborators (Phidias the sculptor appointed by Pericles to decorate the Parthenon 
will die in jail before his sentence).
Though the opposition struck hard Pericles, only in 430 B.C. there was a real conflict with the dêmos who, exhausted from the sacrifices of the war, removed 
the statesman from the office of strategós. Even though he was re-elected already the following year, however, the plague which spread in Athens during 
429 B.C. hit the statesman who died in October of the same year.

With the death of Pericles, came the death Athenian Hegemony over Greece.  Instead of pursuing his shrewd strategy of controlling the seas while depending her walls, Athens, at the urgings of demagogues, set out on a disastrous campaign into Sicily that led to her eventual defeat by Sparta.

 

I hope that every grammar error has been corrected :)

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19 hours ago, Itms said:

Well there is no historical information about Pericles in the game files right now. Anyhow the aim is starting work on this front again, not rewriting everything. It doesn't hurt to have a fresh perspective on the historical information which could be so much better!

 

What I mean is, how will the be implemented? More XML files or by pulling the information from existing templates and auras?

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4 hours ago, wowgetoffyourcellphone said:

What I mean is, how will the be implemented? More XML files or by pulling the information from existing templates and auras?

Probably more files, probably not XML but rather JSON, but that's just a conjecture since the encyclopedia is still being implemented. We might just put this in the templates for the tech tree improvements, but that's only the first step.

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10 hours ago, Fahrern said:

I hope that every grammar error has been corrected :)

Unfortunately no :( Your syntax is dangling in several places. For instance,

10 hours ago, Fahrern said:

Pericles was one of the most influential Greek statesman and predominant leader of golden age of Athens

  • one of the most influential statesmen (plural needed if he's one of them)
  • the predominant leader (if you keep only one of the phrases joined by "and" you get "Pericles was predominant leader" so it's wrong)
  • leader of the golden age of Athens (you make that mistake very very often)
  • period at the end of the sentence (that sounds trivial but it's better to have the finished text right now if you want a direct inclusion into the game, else we will have to perform another round of fixes - so let's fix everything now)

I cannot spot a sentence without a syntax error, a typo or something else. I suggest your read all of your sentences out loud, if that works for you. Or try translating back into your language, as if you hadn't written the text yourself, and see if you can spot the mistakes this way.

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Hello everyone,
In order to include Pericles information   in the game, the grammar  must be  correct. I have already corrected some errors (including those that Itms has marked me) but  certainly  I didn't  notice many other errors. I will be very grateful to anyone who will inform me of any mistakes in order to correct them and be able to provide a high quality work to 0 A.D !

Periklēs (c. 495 – 429 BC)

Pericles was one of the most influential Greek statesmen and the predominant leader of the golden age of Athens.

Appeared in the political scene as the most active member during the trail against Cimon (463 B.C.), Pericles political activity lasted for about forty years during which he held the strategia for at least fifteen consecutive years.

While under Pericles political predominance the Delian League (constituent base of Athenian Empire) reached its zenith, however, the politician is mainly remembered for his building program, which aimed to transform Athens into the cultural capital of the Hellenic world.

Pericles program of public works focused on a first stage on defensive buildings with the construction of the Long Wall between Athens and the two demos of Piraeus and Phalerum.

 Hero Aura: When garrisoned in a structure, he galvanizes its defenders, +2 garrison raged unit

 To carry on the urban planning works in Athens, Pericles summoned artisans and artists from cities of the Delian League. Monuments as the Propilei, the Odeîon and Telesterion are testimonies of Pericles commitment in the public sector aimed to affirming the Athenian supremacy.

 Builder Aura: Building construct 15% faster within his vision.

 Anyhow, the major contribution given to Athens was the commission of temples as that of Athena Nike and the continuation of works on the Parthenon.

 Acropolis Aura: Temples are 50 stones chipper during his lifetime.

 Pericles political parable was that of a democratic leader able to control dêmos but who, over time, had to face a block of opposition that convinced public opinion to condemn Pericles circle of collaborators (Phidias, the sculptor appointed by Pericles to decorate the Parthenon, will die in jail before his sentence).

Though opposition struck hard Pericles, only in 430 B.C. a real conflict with dêmos, exhausted from sacrifices of the war, led to the removal of the political leader from the office of strategós. Even though he was re-elected already the following year, however, the plague that spread in Athens during 429 B.C. hit the statesman who died in October of the same year.

With the death of Pericles, came the death Athenian Hegemony over Greece.  Instead of pursuing his shrewd strategy of controlling the seas while depending her walls, Athens, at the urgings of demagogues, set out on a disastrous campaign into Sicily that led to her eventual defeat by Sparta.

 

Thanks :)

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Stones "cheaper". 

"the" death of Athenian

"defending" not depending. 

The sentence with his death needs to be reconstructed and can be made simpler. " however" seems not appropriate.

Though he was re-elected the following year he died ( if needed"date") from plague that devastated Athens during 429 BC. 

 

Edited by Servo
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About the existing history tooltips, it was decided that they should be carefull reviewed and edited before they are sent to the translation teams: #4505.

Since we're talking about #3212 for displaying them, we might want to ask @s0600204 directly how to organize the History strings ideally.

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Okay, first, quick and dirty proofreading:

Spoiler

Suggested additions in green, suggested removals in red, comments or questions in orange/yellow. Still doesn't read smoothly.

Quote

Periklēs (c. 495 – 429 BC)

Pericles was one of the most influential Greek statesmen and the predominant leader of the golden age of Athens.

He appeared in the political scene as the most active member during the trail against Cimon (463 B.C.), [Is this the date of Cimon's birth? Death? Campaign date?] and Pericles' political activity lasted for about forty years during which he held the strategia for at least fifteen consecutive years.

While under Pericles' political predominance the Delian League (the constituent base of Athenian Empire) reached its zenith, however, the politician is mainly remembered for his building program, which aimed to transform Athens into the cultural capital of the Hellenic world.

Pericles' program of public works focused on a first stage on defensive buildings with the construction of the Long Wall between Athens and the two demos of Piraeus and Phalerum. [Ambiguous. Did the first stage of the program comprise of defensive buildings, or did the program concentrate on the first stage of a multi-stage defensive plan?]

 Hero Aura: When garrisoned in a structure, he galvanizes its defenders, +2 garrison ranged unit.

To carry on continue the urban planning works in Athens, Pericles summoned artisans and artists from the cities of the Delian League. Monuments such as the Propilei, the Odeîon and Telesterion are testimonies of Pericles' commitment in the public sector aimed to affirming the Athenian supremacy.

 Builder Aura: Building construct 15% faster within his vision.

Anyhow, the major contribution given he gave to Athens was the commission of temples such as that of [at? to?] Athena Nike and the continuation of works on the Parthenon.

 Acropolis Aura: Temples are 50 stones chipper cheaper during his lifetime.

Pericles' political parable was that of a democratic leader able to control dêmos but who, over time, had to face a block of opposition that convinced public opinion to condemn Pericles circle of collaborators (Phidias, the sculptor appointed by Pericles to decorate the Parthenon, will die died in jail before his sentence).

Though this opposition struck hard Pericles hard, only in 430 B.C. a real conflict with dêmos, along with exhaustedion from sacrifices of the war [which war?], led to the removal of the political leader from the office of strategós. Even though he was re-elected already the following year, however, the plague that spread in Athens during 429 B.C. hit the statesman who died later that year in October of the same year.

With the death of Pericles, came the death of Athenian Hegemony over Greece. Instead of pursuing his shrewd strategy of controlling the seas while depfending her walls, Athens, at the urgings of demagogues, set out on a disastrous campaign into Sicily that led to her eventual defeat by Sparta.

 

Secondly, where would we put this? I wouldn't want to add it to the athen.json file - not really the right place for it IMHO. I'd be very wary of adding such a lot of text to the respective template file.

To be honest, I've been coming to the realisation that there are some entities in this game of ours that warrant a fuller description, and heroes are some of those. We've taken important historical figures, some for whom an entire book could be written - and we're limited to expressing their life, achievements, and legacy in a few paragraphs. Hardly does any of them justice. *sigh*.

 

Anyhow, keep going. :) Next draft?

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